Control Issues

I don't know about you all, but I have some control issues. I want to be in control... of everything: my life, my job, my family, my surroundings, my problems, my friends' problems. I frequently find myself trying to fix it... doesn't matter what "it" is, or whether or not I have the know-how or experience. Some things I've learned about control are as follows:

1.It puts emphasis on the individual. It's all about me: what I know, what I can do, and how "amazing" I am.

2. It rejects community and gives an excuse for a lack of vulnerability in relationships. In my own experience, I am quick to offer advice, but slow to ask for it. Reasons for my independence abound, such as: "I can handle it.", " I don't want to bother them.", "She just wouldn't understand.". So, I end up bottling up my struggles and trying to "fix it" myself.

3. It can result in unnecessary stress and strain. Being "in control" can seem like freedom, but at the end of the day, it feels like pressure. The weight of every situation you're "in control" over finds it's way to rest on your shoulders. I tend to be an over-thinker, so the end of my day consists of going back through all the decisions I made today and wonder if I said the right thing, did the right thing, if the advice I gave is going to altar the course of that person's life and sanity! Okay, that is a bit extreme, but you get the idea. What seemed like a good idea at the time, can be a source of stress later. And that is not how life was intended.

When scripture mentions "control", it is almost always in reference to "self-control". To clarify, this is not an "I do it myself" kind of control. It's more of an "I'm not going to overreact" kind of control. We don't always have control over our emotions, but we do have the ability to control the actions we take under the influence of those emotions.

I am frequently reminded that I am not in control. I can't fix the world's problems. I don't have all the answers. Often times, I don't even have enough answers for myself! Luckily for the world at large and for myself, I am not in control. Jesus is! Hebrews 2:8 states"...Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control." 

Jesus is in control. Whew! That is a relief! I know he has my best interests at heart. (Jeremiah 29:11) I know I don't have to live life on my own, because he is with me. (Deuteronomy 31:6) He has even given me people in my life to help me when I don't have the answers.(Genesis 2:18, Hebrews 10:24-25)

My City

In light of recent events, I am torn emotionally for my city. I am saddened and embarrassed by the reactions of violence and destruction. I am overwhelmed with compassion for the affected communities. I am inspired to help those afflicted by this escalating tragedy of events. I have this internal cry in my soul that longs for peace in my city. In the midst of all these emotions, I am reminded that my heart does not yearn the most for this city, because ultimately, at the end of the day, this city isn't mine, it belongs to God. In praying for this city of Saint Louis in all its current struggles, I was reminded of this song. (listen/watch here; lyrics listed below found here)

                                                                   "God of This City"
                                                                 

You're the God of this City
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You are

[Verse 2]
You're the Light in this darkness
You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless
You are

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

[Chorus]
For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City

[Verse 1]

[Verse 2]

There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God

[Chorus]
For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here

There is no one like our god
There is no one like our God

[Chorus]
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here

Tragedy vs Truth

I recently moved to the St Louis area, just in time for this most recent tragedy surrounding the death of a young Michael Brown. Words and wisdom are very difficult in everyday life, but it feels nearly impossible surrounding tragedy, especially when death is involved. I don't claim to know what the best response is in this situation, but I have difficulty believing the current course of action by some individuals resulting in the destruction of businesses is what brings justice to Michael Brown. 

In times like these I look to the wisdom of those around me that I trust. My dear friend David posted the following words on his blog and I must say that I agree with him. I encourage you to read his words here. In the meantime, I'm praying for peace for the Brown family, their community, and our city.